Why did you tell me not to do it? It is not bad; it is the sweetest thing…To watch the blood came out from a wound self-inflicted…

Have you ever really heard the sound of pain? The sound of bitterness… of loneliness… of hopelessness... I can’t Imagine you… enjoying pain... But you should never try to, my love, because it’s addictive... Once you are in.. you never came out… your life turns so full of darkness, you never see the sunlight again… you live in shadows… there you can’t remember your name, you can’t feel, you can’t breathe… you can’t love, you can’t live, but you can’t die… all at the same time…How? You ask, well I can’t tell you, my love, it’s a surprise…not a nice one... but what would happen if I tell you? You might come and rescue me, wont you? I might be waiting 4 you… but that is not the correct answer, my love, If I tell you the answer, then the secret will be dead, there wont be any beautiful and dreadful mysteries in this awful and bitter world of mine… and I like it this way, I like to live in the shadows, I like to be alone, with the frightful souls surrounding me… I am almost one of them… I am really looking forward to become one of them… till then I wont ever see you again.. Except… yes, my love, there are always deadly exceptions, in this world of wickedness… the only remaining thing… beside this vampire addiction of bloody cold suicide lost souls… is the hope of dreams… because, yes, my love, you can dream, indeed is the only real thing you can do in here… it might hurt sometimes.. cause dreaming is real, outside you don’t even remember your dreams, but after being chased so many times by the horror creatures, guardians of death… dreams became more and more real to you… in them you are able to feel, to sense, to love.. in dreams you remember all the beauty of a burnt life, that will light your way down here… those lights are as beautiful as you can imagine… but after hundreds of lives lived and died in here.. you are so used to darkness that you are almost blinded by them… So as I was saying.. the deadly exception of our next encounter will be possible only if you surrender to life… surrender to live and resign to fall down in here… with me.,.. but I’m not begging you, although that would be nice to hear…I only want you to live.. to spend your time in the living land…and never forget my name… is that too much to ask? I hope you don’t think so. Actually, I hope you find in her what you couldn’t find in me… I hope that with her kisses you become as happy as you never were with me…
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